Even in certain situations, those closest to you can react in a surprising way when in high-stress situations. During conflict, you're more than likely seeing them at their worst. Understanding emotions is a fundamental part of managing conflict effectively. In and around organizations, lots of people interact for lots of time. Yet few organizations devote resources to proactively managing conflict.
Why is it so hard for people to say what they mean, and mean what they say, sometimes? In today's #MindsetMonday video, Ashley Virtue explains why most people appreciate a clear explanation, even if the response is not what they had in mind.
- effective communication is clear communication as much as possible when you're communicating with someone try not to sugarcoat what you mean avoid using phrases like mal try or no we'll have to see that kind of demonstrates a lack of commitment to the overall goal it's really okay to say noticing Xand people generally appreciate having clear expectations even if it's not the answer they ideally wanted
In conversations, were eager to get our point across to the other person. Sometimes, we have a tendency to raise our tone of voice, causing the other person to raise their voice as well. Here's how to catch yourself and have a healthy conversation. At the National Conflict Resolution Center - NCRC, we've worked with thousands of individuals across the globe to help resolve conflicts at all levels of society, through our unique and effective training programs.
- If you're anything like me when you're in conflict with someone your emotions run high you might be listening to logic that you don't agree with or you hear someone say something that's just completely wrong you can't wait to get your own point across to put your feelings forward and make sure your voice is heard well when we're making sure our voice is heard oftentimes we raise our voices without even thinking the person we're arguing with starts to raise their voices and we're raising our voices and before you know it it can be an all-out screaming match it's a very simple piece of advice but just making sure to be aware of how loud you're speaking to someone can completely change the nature of an interaction when you're disagreeing so make sure to note what you feel when you typically start raising your voice and just make sure to be aware when you feel that way again so that you can keep your volume down honestly you'll be able to hear better and when you can hear better you'll be able to address the situation better
When two or more people interact for a long enough time, conflict happens. It’s inevitable. In and around organizations, lots of people interact for lots of time. Yet few organizations devote resources to proactively managing conflict. At the National Conflict Resolution Center, we've worked with thousands of individuals across the globe to help resolve conflicts at all levels of society, through our unique and effective training programs.
"Never take a person's dignity: It's worth everything to them, and nothing to you,"" - Frank Barron Preserving one's dignity is the implied meaning in the expression, "to save face." In conflict resolution, mediators look for ways to allow parties to save face or rebuild their image in order to resolve a dispute. In today's Mindset Monday video, Ashley Virtue shares why treating others with dignity and respect is not only the right thing to do—it's also the smart thing to do.
- It's important that when you're approaching someone that you may have a conflict with or that you have to have a difficult conversation with that you think about ways ahead of time to give them an out so that they can save face during the conversation. A couple of suggestions that might help you do this would be, approaching them at the beginning and saying there's something that I think you might not be aware of and I want to talk to you about it so that you're not accusing them of anything. Also making sure that you talk to them about things in a private space so that they don't feel like others are involved and they have to save face in front of them whenever you're going into a conversation with someone where emotions may be escalated or defense mechanisms may go up. Be thinking ahead of time about how to strategically help them save face that way they'll be able to approach you more genuinely and honestly to troubleshoot.
Giving someone constructive feedback can be a little tricky. In today's Mindset Monday video, Ashley Virtue shares a few tips on how you can make the conversation less awkward and more productive.
Paul Bowers reminds us all that it's easy to turn an aquarium into fish stew versus the other way around. Social media is very easy to destroy and disruptive. Bowers reminds us all to be mindful of how we treat each other online.
"Yes, and..." this is a phrase that everyone should include in their daily conversations. Here's why... The word ""No"" is disruptive - it doesn't promote anything and it shuts down conversations. To keep a conversation moving, Paul Bowers shares a trick he learned from improv.
Want to learn how to communicate better? Remove this word from your vocabulary to see how it changes your conversations.
- Today I want to talk about "buts" no not those kind of butts. I want to talk about the word "but". It's really the kind of word that we should all try to remove from our vocabulary as much as possible and here's why. How many of us have ever been in a conversation with someone who says something along the lines of, "I really like the work you're doing on the marketing project but I'm wondering how much time we have devoted to the development project?" What happens when you hear, "I really like the work you're doing on the marketing project but" is that immediately you sink to negate the whole first part of the sentence because clearly whatever they're saying to you was just to pave the way to this other criticism. So try instead to replace the word "but" with the word "and". "I really like the work you've done on the recent marketing project and I'm wondering how much time we have dedicated to the new development project." See how that sounds completely different? So go ahead and try replacing the word "but" with the word "and" and see how it changes your conversations.
The ‘this then that’ thinking is a very common pattern that we all fall into time and again, and it’s important to be aware of any judgments we might make about what someone believes. Just because they believe in one idea, does not necessarily believe in another. If we make it a habit to never assume and always ask, we can avoid conflicts due to presuppositions.
- So it's pretty common nowadays to hear people openly discuss maybe political ideas or movements that they support without even really needing to be prompted and so oftentimes we hear you know someone might support a certain idea and we're tempted to make a judgement about them kind of thinking oh well if this person believes this then they must believe that. Maybe one example would be if you heard somebody talking about owning a gun, you would automatically think that person is against gun control or that someone who might have immigrated to the U.S. is automatically against tighter immigration laws. So that kind of this "then that mentality" is really common and we all fall into it from time to time but it's really important to be aware that any judgments we might make about someone else it's just that - it's a judgment. It's an assumption. Just because someone does believe one idea it doesn't necessarily mean they believe in another and so if we make it a habit to never assume and always ask people, we can avoid conflicts due to presuppositions and assumptions about people. So keep that in mind as you're having conversations when you learn little facts about people. Dig deeper to find out more, don't just make assumptions about what you think you know about them. Thanks.