Active listening means that rather than struggling to have your voice heard, you prioritize understanding the other person's perspective. In this episode of Mindset Mondays, Barney Connaughton, Esq. from A Healthy Divorce, shares how active listening serves both partners equally in minimizing conflict during the mediation process.
As a divorce mediator for over 13 years, a big challenge is making sure that there's clear communication in the mediation process. It's also important in community, in relationships to have good communication. One way of doing that is to have, to be a good listener. And there's two parts of being a good listener. One is, hearing what is being said by the speaker and the other is making the speaker feel like you're hearing what it is that they're saying. Today I'm going to talk about, one strategy for this, which is active listening. And there's a few things to consider when using active listening. The first is you want to show the speaker that you, they have your attention. To do this, l ike an easy way of doing it is to just make eye contact with them or to turn your body and their direction to show that your attention is directed toward them.
Another way is to eliminate outside distractions. A good example of this is getting rid of - putting your cell phone away so that they have your undivided attention. The second factor is to use signals of engagement while they're speaking. So an example of this would be to smile when they say something or to nod your head yes or to even say yes when they say something that, that you agree with. The third strategy is to listen to what they're saying until they get to the very end. So make sure they have your undivided attention and you don't interrupt them as they're trying to get their thoughts out there. Focus on what is being said and instead of trying to formulate your own response to it while they're speaking, wait to do that until you've finished hearing what it is that they say. The final strategy is to provide them with feedback.
Once they've gotten to the end, you can paraphrase what it is they've said or you can say what it is that they've said in, in your own words. You can also ask them a clarifying question so that you can show to them that you've been listening and you, and you just wanted a bit more information. These simple things really help out in mediations that helps the couple hear each other when they're mediating their case. But it also is really valuable tools to use and relationships so that, couples hear what it is that they're saying to each other.
When tensions are high with loved ones and you need to resolve conflict, remember the BIFF formula by Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute. You can respond in a brief, informative, friendly, and firm manner to keep calm and resolve conflict. Just remember, when in doubt, BIFF it out! It’ll allow you to preserve your relationship while tactfully resolving conflict.
Conflict is inevitable among families, and the ways families choose to resolve conflict makes a HUGE difference. Families who peacefully resolve conflict may grow closer as they learn from one another and work hard to take one another's feelings into consideration. Ashley Virtue, Dir. of External Relations, shares why it's important to have a little more wiggle room and civil dialogue with the ones closes to us.
We are so excited to announce the 31st Annual Peacemaker Awards on Saturday, April 6th 2019! It's our signature gala where we honor those nationally and locally that really embody the principles that are at the core of the National Conflict Resolution Center. Those who do their work with inclusivity and civility and those that act through respect and innovation to lead to more effective solutions for major challenges that face all of us. This year, we are pleased to honor the achievements of these great awardees: National Peacemaker Award: Rev. Greg Boyle, Founder of Homeboy Industries, Philanthropy in Peacemaking Honoree: Malin Burnham, The Local Peacemaker Award: KPBS & NCRC Community Heroes ▸ Steve Binder, Homelessness ▸ Imam Taha Hassane, Civility in Politics ▸ Bishop Cornelius Bowser, Gun Violence ▸ Kim Sontag-Mulder, Gender Equity
Here at the National Conflict Resolution Center, we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy by continuing to make our community a better place, prompting bystanders to not observe wrongdoings, but to have the courage to stand up for others who cannot speak for themselves.
National Conflict Resolution Center is built on the principle that every dispute has a solution. In 2019, we will continue our mission to resolve issues with the highest possible degree of civility. Hear what Steve Dinkin, President of NCRC, has to say about our goals this year.
In the spirit of the new year, Ashley Virtue covers the art of letting go so that you can focus your attention and energy on things that are more fulfilling.
It's a new year! That means it's the perfect time to implement new skills and start the year off with the courage and passion for civil dialogue. Happy New Year from all of us at NCRC!
- well it's New Years Eve and as we look back on the last year it's impossible to ignore the fact that the me too movement has been a huge impact on our year and so as we round out the year and round out our month talking about bystander intervention and bystander communication we just really want to encourage you to take some of maybe the new skills and new things that you've been thinking about and start the year off with the courage and the passion to be an active bystander we have a quote from a workplace bullying expert that we think sums up perfectly the thinking around bystander intervention she says the term bystander connotes being a passive observer you are an active participant each time you choose not to step in each choice and not getting involved is reinforcing the behavior making you not an innocent bystander but an active reinforcer so keep that in mind encourage you to get training and bystander communication talk with others about it share your thoughts about it and of course we are always here as a resource for you thank you so much and we will see you in 2019
Bystander intervention training is one of the most effective ways to empower employees to address and prevent harassment and discrimination in the workplace. Ashley Virtue, Dir. of External Relations, explains how empowering your employees with effective tools and bystander intervention tactics can stop inappropriate behavior before it rises to the level of unlawful harassment.
Harassment falls on a spectrum, and some types of harassment are easier to spot than others. Microaggressions--whether they be intentional or not--- can still be hurtful. Have you ever been guilty of using one?