On Saturday, April 6, 2019, we celebrated our 31st Annual Peacemaker Awards Dinner to shine a bright light on the importance of civility, peacemaking and social justice in a world filled with conflict. Thank you to all of our attendees, sponsors, and honorees for supporting the National Conflict Resolution Center - NCRC's work to unite people, cultures, and organizations through civility and inclusive communication, such as our Avoiding the Pipeline to Prison initiative. Congratulations again to all of this year's honorees!
Congratulations to Sontag-Mudler, Co-President of the @NationalNOW San Diego Chapter, for being a Local Peacemaker Honoree. In addition resurrecting the NOW San Diego Chapter, Mudler has continued to make positive change in the face of adversity, advocating for #GenderEquity and opportunities for all.
National Conflict Resolution Center's Local Peacemaker Honoree, Imam Taha Hassane--Dir. of Islamic Center of San Diego - ICSD-- has embodied NCRC's value of standing up for the voiceless by addressing politically sensitive issues such as #RacialInjustice and #Immigration in the face of adversity.
Being the Nominee for National Conflict Resolution Center's Local Peacemaker Award, Bishop Cornelius Bowser has embodied our core value of "community before self" with founding a organization such as the Community Assistance Support Team (CAST) that seeks to prevent gang violence as it relates to guns.
We are proud to honor Deputy Public Defender Steve Binder, Co-Founder of San Diego's Homeless Court Program, at this year's Peacemaker Awards. His game-changing court program helps homeless individuals get back on their feet and leave the streets. Binder believes that “there is more to be done", so we invite you to take part in this facilitated conversation!
We are naturally drawn to think about relationships in the month of February. If you need to solve a problem with someone you have an ongoing relationship with, it’s important to strengthen and heal the relationship through mediation. Chris Hulburt, Dir. of Fund Development at NCRC, shares how finding the source of conflicts can lead to a more satisfying relationship.
Active listening means that rather than struggling to have your voice heard, you prioritize understanding the other person's perspective. In this episode of Mindset Mondays, Barney Connaughton, Esq. from A Healthy Divorce, shares how active listening serves both partners equally in minimizing conflict during the mediation process.
As a divorce mediator for over 13 years, a big challenge is making sure that there's clear communication in the mediation process. It's also important in community, in relationships to have good communication. One way of doing that is to have, to be a good listener. And there's two parts of being a good listener. One is, hearing what is being said by the speaker and the other is making the speaker feel like you're hearing what it is that they're saying. Today I'm going to talk about, one strategy for this, which is active listening. And there's a few things to consider when using active listening. The first is you want to show the speaker that you, they have your attention. To do this, l ike an easy way of doing it is to just make eye contact with them or to turn your body and their direction to show that your attention is directed toward them.
Another way is to eliminate outside distractions. A good example of this is getting rid of - putting your cell phone away so that they have your undivided attention. The second factor is to use signals of engagement while they're speaking. So an example of this would be to smile when they say something or to nod your head yes or to even say yes when they say something that, that you agree with. The third strategy is to listen to what they're saying until they get to the very end. So make sure they have your undivided attention and you don't interrupt them as they're trying to get their thoughts out there. Focus on what is being said and instead of trying to formulate your own response to it while they're speaking, wait to do that until you've finished hearing what it is that they say. The final strategy is to provide them with feedback.
Once they've gotten to the end, you can paraphrase what it is they've said or you can say what it is that they've said in, in your own words. You can also ask them a clarifying question so that you can show to them that you've been listening and you, and you just wanted a bit more information. These simple things really help out in mediations that helps the couple hear each other when they're mediating their case. But it also is really valuable tools to use and relationships so that, couples hear what it is that they're saying to each other.
When tensions are high with loved ones and you need to resolve conflict, remember the BIFF formula by Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute. You can respond in a brief, informative, friendly, and firm manner to keep calm and resolve conflict. Just remember, when in doubt, BIFF it out! It’ll allow you to preserve your relationship while tactfully resolving conflict.