so we've all been in conflict with someone when things just drag on forever conflicts can last for hours or sometimes for people's entire lives and the further you get into the conflict the harder is to see clearly and to kind of keep your eye on what made the problem happen in the first place suddenly your focus kind of becomes more about proving that you are right then actually moving towards what you are kind of wanting in the first place so in these situations it's so important not to fall victim to what we call the absolute victory pitfall where you want to be absolutely right an other party is absolutely wrong it's important to remember that when we think like this we miss all of the opportunities for resolution that might be presenting themselves because we're not paying attention to the subtle olive branches that might be getting extended to us instead we're just thinking about needing to absolutely be right so no one wants to be in conflict forever we all know that so just make sure that you take the blinders off when needed and you take the opportunity if it's there to resolve the issue
Before you jump into your work week, here's a quick reminder from Ashley Virtue to focus on the present versus "what could have been".
- so we all know that sometimes when bad things happen they seem to happen all at once we all have those bad days where we're late for work we forgot to go to the grocery store or we just you know don't have things go our way so during days like these we can get so frustrated that things aren't going well or how we expected that we don't react to others in a way that's best for them or really for us so it's really important to keep in mind when you are having a day like this that you might take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it it can be helpful to have a few lines maybe prepared on bad days that just let you express that you just need a little time before you're able to have a productive discussion with someone this kind of gives you the time you need to cool down and avoid causing any damage to your relationships just because you're having a bad day
We all have those days when things just don't seem to be working out for us. Keep in mind to not take out your bad day out on someone else. Take a moment to cool down, and come back to the conversation once you're ready.
Put all your thoughts on the table. In conversation, many don't express what they feel. This action cannot only create a barrier for effective communication, but it can ruin a healthy relationship. Catch yourself, and say whats on your mind. It may be frightening, but clear communication is healthy communication. In and around organizations, lots of people interact for lots of time. At the National Conflict Resolution Center, we've worked with thousands of individuals across the globe to help resolve conflicts at all levels of society, through our unique and effective training programs.
Even in certain situations, those closest to you can react in a surprising way when in high-stress situations. During conflict, you're more than likely seeing them at their worst. Understanding emotions is a fundamental part of managing conflict effectively. In and around organizations, lots of people interact for lots of time. Yet few organizations devote resources to proactively managing conflict.
Why is it so hard for people to say what they mean, and mean what they say, sometimes? In today's #MindsetMonday video, Ashley Virtue explains why most people appreciate a clear explanation, even if the response is not what they had in mind.
- effective communication is clear communication as much as possible when you're communicating with someone try not to sugarcoat what you mean avoid using phrases like mal try or no we'll have to see that kind of demonstrates a lack of commitment to the overall goal it's really okay to say noticing Xand people generally appreciate having clear expectations even if it's not the answer they ideally wanted