Mindset Mondays

 As a divorce mediator for over 13 years, a big challenge is making sure that there's clear communication in the mediation process. It's also important in community, in relationships to have good communication. One way of doing that is to have, to be a good listener. And there's two parts of being a good listener. One is, hearing what is being said by the speaker and the other is making the speaker feel like you're hearing what it is that they're saying. Today I'm going to talk about, one strategy for this, which is active listening. And there's a few things to consider when using active listening. The first is you want to show the speaker that you, they have your attention. To do this, l ike an easy way of doing it is to just make eye contact with them or to turn your body and their direction to show that your attention is directed toward them. 
Another way is to eliminate outside distractions. A good example of this is getting rid of - putting your cell phone away so that they have your undivided attention. The second factor is to use signals of engagement while they're speaking. So an example of this would be to smile when they say something or to nod your head yes or to even say yes when they say something that, that you agree with. The third strategy is to listen to what they're saying until they get to the very end. So make sure they have your undivided attention and you don't interrupt them as they're trying to get their thoughts out there. Focus on what is being said and instead of trying to formulate your own response to it while they're speaking, wait to do that until you've finished hearing what it is that they say. The final strategy is to provide them with feedback. 
Once they've gotten to the end, you can paraphrase what it is they've said or you can say what it is that they've said in, in your own words. You can also ask them a clarifying question so that you can show to them that you've been listening and you, and you just wanted a bit more information. These simple things really help out in mediations that helps the couple hear each other when they're mediating their case. But it also is really valuable tools to use and relationships so that, couples hear what it is that they're saying to each other.