Part 8 of our 10 part series
California is a “true” no-fault state, which means you can only file for divorce on no-fault grounds. The court does not give you the option of casting blame, nor does it offer traditional grounds such as adultery, abandonment or mental cruelty. Simply put, the courts are not concerned about who had the affair, who maxed out the credit cards or who had the midlife crisis. The judge is not required, nor has the time, to sort out the reasons for your divorce.
This can be extremely frustrating to those in divorce because most are hurt, angry, sad, depressed, devastated, the list goes on, and they just want to be heard and understood. And while you may not have the luxury of telling your story to the judge, a trained divorce mediator can help you address your emotions during mediation when the session becomes “stuck” due to an underlying grievance that must be aired. You can put your feelings or resentments on the table, address them and get you back to the business of reaching agreements. Your divorce mediator will ensure that these “detours” do not dominate the decision-making process, but enhance negotiations by clearing the road to a more productive discussion.
The divorce mediation session is exactly that: a time set aside to discuss all the issues in your divorce and to reach agreements in a cooperative, civil manner. If you need to spend a little time to loosen the log causing the jam, it is well worth it to work with a divorce mediator who can help you do that.